I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
