Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
