I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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