I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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