So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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