Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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