i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
