so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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