So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
