yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
