just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
