is wine microwaveable?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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