she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
