Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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