i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
