so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
