a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
