dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize