She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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