She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
