Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
