I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
