I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
