Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
