$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
