North Korea, Best Korea!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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