3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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