Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He did a backflip because drugs
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