Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
