He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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