Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
