To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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