Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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