I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She bit a glass in half.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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