Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
