No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
