I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
