Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.