Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.