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• (309): View more from Illinois

  $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.

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• (212): View more from New York

  lets start a swedish sibling band together

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!

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• (442): View more from California

  Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now

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