is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.