Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol

  (661): View more from California

  HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator

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  (509): Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol (661): HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator http://tfl.nu/ppgz
  Replies (6) Good night (1235) Bad night (602)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

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  (434): So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970 http://tfl.nu/x6yp
  Replies (13) Good night (641) Bad night (3086)
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  (650): View more from California

  I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.

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  (650): I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one. http://tfl.nu/s8l0
  Replies (9) Good night (4150) Bad night (623)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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  (678): We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine. http://tfl.nu/3sll
  Replies (29) Good night (946) Bad night (4223)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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  (573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x
  Replies (7) Good night (7118) Bad night (1022)
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  (951): View more from California

  Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.

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  (951): Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable. http://tfl.nu/q51j
  Replies (31) Good night (6974) Bad night (1376)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?

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  (704): Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night? http://tfl.nu/zhm8
  Replies (6) Good night (877) Bad night (1995)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.

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  (541): It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker. http://tfl.nu/udye
  Replies (2) Good night (1332) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.

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  (573): These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times. http://tfl.nu/8sq6
  Replies (2) Good night (1508) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

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  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1474) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.

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  (305): I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again. http://tfl.nu/m5jy
  Replies (5) Good night (1937) Bad night (615)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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  (613): I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students. http://tfl.nu/r17p
  Replies (7) Good night (804) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone

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  (828): I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone http://tfl.nu/fll1
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You can wear anything you want

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So... Naked it is then

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  (262): You can wear anything you want (704): So... Naked it is then http://tfl.nu/h72c
  Replies (1) Good night (903) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.

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  (404): I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start. http://tfl.nu/1iy9
  Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (556)

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