Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?

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(512): HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter? http://tfl.nu/9l91

Replies (22) Good night (595) Bad night (2447)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

(908): View more from New Jersey

Fuck I'm high.

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(908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles. (908): Fuck I'm high. http://tfl.nu/titc

Replies (56) Good night (1813) Bad night (3481)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Say it nicely.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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(303): Say it nicely. (1-303): Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy? http://tfl.nu/5ned

Replies (51) Good night (16637) Bad night (1480)
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(630): View more from Illinois

We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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(630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7

Replies (4) Good night (2877) Bad night (1300)
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(360): View more from Washington

He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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(360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z

Replies (15) Good night (3861) Bad night (1338)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.

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(702): We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9xyn

Replies (13) Good night (877) Bad night (2425)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect

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(814): Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect http://tfl.nu/4whi

Replies (4) Good night (5470) Bad night (994)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.

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(319): I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can. http://tfl.nu/h4v8

Replies (4) Good night (1658) Bad night (705)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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(413): I think the camel was justified in biting me. http://tfl.nu/yr0l

Replies (8) Good night (1714) Bad night (704)
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(989): View more from Michigan

He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

I'll uninvite my mom

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(989): He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis. (1-989): I'll uninvite my mom http://tfl.nu/cezv

Replies (5) Good night (1645) Bad night (489)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.

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(412): wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/kdfi

Replies (4) Good night (412) Bad night (796)
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(210): View more from Texas

Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.

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(210): Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course. http://tfl.nu/nbyi

Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (472)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP

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(724): umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP http://tfl.nu/bluu

Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (723)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

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(908): I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/8q70

Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (268)
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(309): View more from Illinois

My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.

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(309): My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers. http://tfl.nu/lxb6

Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (268)

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