I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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