Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
