How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
