hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just forgot I was standing up.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
