Three words: puerto rican gang bang
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
