Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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