So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
