i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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