I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
