im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
