its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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