Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
