ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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