I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
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He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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