Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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