I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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