How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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