anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
