So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
