Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Randomize
