Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
