Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
