i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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