wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
