I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
