in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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