Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
