dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I wish there were birth control emojis
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
